Dopamine Vs Serotonin

🧠 More and more researches have proved that our guts is our 2nd brain. Our digestive system has direct impacts on our brains, vice versa.

Dopamine & serotonin are the key neurotransmitters that are linked to mood, motivation, sleep-awake patterns and digestions.

Therefore, manage your food and nutrients intake is crucial for your physical and mental health.

Dopamine plays a major role in motivation and energy levels. That’s why depressive people often feel tired and exhausted, while ADHDers are often energetic and they don’t need sleep as much as others. Dopamine also affects the release of insulin in pancrea, which has a direct impact on our digestive system, including fat storage in our bodies. Moreover, it can prevent us from constipation and stomach ulcer, etc.

Serotonin affects our emotion regulations and our digestion. Low serotonin does not necessarily cause depression, but through the use SSRIs is one of the most effective treatments for depression. However, such medications do take some time to work, say 6-8 weeks. Research has suggested that SSRIs increase positive emotional processing over time, resulting in an overall shift in mood.

Researchers have found that depression is associated with inflammation in the body. SSRIs have an anti-inflammatory effect.

Serotonin-based medications can help treat several gastrointestinal conditions, such as irritable bowel syndrome and nausea from chemotherapy.

Pls take a moment to read the article below for your own sake and for your loved ones.

Reference: https://www.healthline.com/health/dopamine-vs-serotonin

📝3 key components of intimate relationships or what we so called “Perfect Match”

- 🩵Intellectual compatibility

- 🧡Emotional compatibility

- 🩷Physical & sexual compatibility

1. Intellectual doesn’t equal to IQ. IQ is a measure of certain abilities, including verbal ability, information processing speed, working memory, problem solving capacities, etc, while intellect is a measure of interest in abstract ideas and creativity.

Intellectual compatibility means u and your partner have a similar level of Openness (from Big Five personality theory) in terms of mindset, similar values, aesthetics and creativity. If you and your partner have huge gaps of openness, according to scientific researches over the past 50 years, this relationship is unlikely to be long-lasting. There are/will be lots of conflicts, stress and pain.

2. Emotional compatibility means u and your partner have similar level of emotional intelligence (EQ) and maturity. EQ consists of two parts: level of emotional self-awareness and awareness of others (empathy).

Maturity is the ability to endure hardships and challenges in life without being volatile. Higher EQ people belong with higher EQ people. Lower EQ people go with lower EQ people. Same goes with maturity.

3. Physical and sexual compatibility is important but not crucial for long term relationships. Thus if u find your partner physically unattractive, it doesn’t mean your marriage/relationship is doomed to fail. It can still work, but it is going to be partnership, u two are just not deeply connected couples/soulmates.

Last but not least, timing is also crucial in meeting the right partner because people's circumstances, priorities, and emotional readiness can greatly influence their ability to form a successful and fulfilling relationship.

There is “perfect match” existed but oftentimes it is not what u think and expected. It takes lots of team efforts, dedication, patience and understanding to make an intimate relationship work.

🌟How to set & achieve goals?

🧡Happy New Year, everyone!

Do u have something u want to achieve in 2024? But u don't know how to set goals and put them into applications?

Here are some of ideas I learnt recently, I hope that they can be useful and enlightening to you.

📝First of all, we have to know what is the meaning of the word "goal".

-Definition of the “Goal” is: anything that u desire that wouldn’t otherwise happen without u doing something.

- Write down 1-3 goals that u really want right here and right now, not something u want in the past. Be pragmatic.

⭐️Golden rules of setting goals:

- Will & Ways (Why and How)

- Will: Think abt why u want to achieve these goals? What are the reasons behind? Are they related to your dreams?

- Wills: Are your goals personal? Or is it what other people want/expect from you? Work on WHYs would increase your motivations.

- Ways: Break your goals into small chunks and steps that are workable and easy to accomplish at the beginning within the timeframe of 12 months. Examples: running a full marathon.

- Don’t overcommit to too many goals, which leads to frustration and failure.

- Hit the sweet spot: not too difficult or too easy.

- Use 3rd person to say your goals out loud, make them easier to accomplish.

- Turn your goals into high-low range goals.

- Share your goals with someone whom u admire.

- How are u going to evaluate your goals at the end of year?

🌈Eg. One of my goals in 2024:

- Improve my interpersonal relationships with others, including family members, friends, and collaborators.

- Goal’s WHY:

a) Relationships have been one of my weakest aspects of my life. I want to work on that.

b) My dream is to be a successful life coach or counsellor. So if I can have a better relationship with others, I can be a more effective influence to my clients.

- Goal’s HOW: (from easy to difficult)

Step 1: Read books or listen to podcasts related to building healthy relationships.

eg. Finish reading “12 rules of life” by Feb 2024.

Step 2: Reflect on my feelings every morning, write journals 3-5 days a week.

Step 3: Talk to friends who is INFJ or INTJ for supports and advices.

Step 4: Think fast, talk slow and smart. One of my biggest mistakes is talking too fast and too much, which inadvertently leads conversations to debates or arguments. Slow pace is always better than fast in communication and relationships.

Step 5: Treat people with kindness. Try not to be mean and harsh. Lower my expectations to anyone, especially to those who are close to me.

Step 6: Try to stay quiet in a conversation and stay out of troubles.

Step 7: Be kind to myself, learn when to say “no”. Don’t overcommit and try not to overthink….(it’s really hard to me)

Step 8: Work on my anxiety, and build my sense of security, including rest more and face my fears of exclusions and abandonments. (Damn, it’s hell of a mountain to me)

💡Reference: Mel Robbins's podcast