🌟How to set & achieve goals?

🧡Happy New Year, everyone!

Do u have something u want to achieve in 2024? But u don't know how to set goals and put them into applications?

Here are some of ideas I learnt recently, I hope that they can be useful and enlightening to you.

📝First of all, we have to know what is the meaning of the word "goal".

-Definition of the “Goal” is: anything that u desire that wouldn’t otherwise happen without u doing something.

- Write down 1-3 goals that u really want right here and right now, not something u want in the past. Be pragmatic.

⭐️Golden rules of setting goals:

- Will & Ways (Why and How)

- Will: Think abt why u want to achieve these goals? What are the reasons behind? Are they related to your dreams?

- Wills: Are your goals personal? Or is it what other people want/expect from you? Work on WHYs would increase your motivations.

- Ways: Break your goals into small chunks and steps that are workable and easy to accomplish at the beginning within the timeframe of 12 months. Examples: running a full marathon.

- Don’t overcommit to too many goals, which leads to frustration and failure.

- Hit the sweet spot: not too difficult or too easy.

- Use 3rd person to say your goals out loud, make them easier to accomplish.

- Turn your goals into high-low range goals.

- Share your goals with someone whom u admire.

- How are u going to evaluate your goals at the end of year?

🌈Eg. One of my goals in 2024:

- Improve my interpersonal relationships with others, including family members, friends, and collaborators.

- Goal’s WHY:

a) Relationships have been one of my weakest aspects of my life. I want to work on that.

b) My dream is to be a successful life coach or counsellor. So if I can have a better relationship with others, I can be a more effective influence to my clients.

- Goal’s HOW: (from easy to difficult)

Step 1: Read books or listen to podcasts related to building healthy relationships.

eg. Finish reading “12 rules of life” by Feb 2024.

Step 2: Reflect on my feelings every morning, write journals 3-5 days a week.

Step 3: Talk to friends who is INFJ or INTJ for supports and advices.

Step 4: Think fast, talk slow and smart. One of my biggest mistakes is talking too fast and too much, which inadvertently leads conversations to debates or arguments. Slow pace is always better than fast in communication and relationships.

Step 5: Treat people with kindness. Try not to be mean and harsh. Lower my expectations to anyone, especially to those who are close to me.

Step 6: Try to stay quiet in a conversation and stay out of troubles.

Step 7: Be kind to myself, learn when to say “no”. Don’t overcommit and try not to overthink….(it’s really hard to me)

Step 8: Work on my anxiety, and build my sense of security, including rest more and face my fears of exclusions and abandonments. (Damn, it’s hell of a mountain to me)

💡Reference: Mel Robbins's podcast