How to cope with overwhelming emotions?

RAPID method:

R: Recognise and identify the emotions: the primary (on the surface) and the secondary ones (hidden ones). For instance, you feel angry (primary emotion) when your friend betray you. Deep down, you are feeling hurt and be sadden (secondary emotions) by the betrayal. Usually there are multiple layers of emotions, learn more about emotions before trying to manage them.

A: Acknowledge/accept: After you recognise your feelings, acknowledge and fully accept them as they are, no matter how raw or ugly they might be. It’s an important process. The more honest you are with yourself, the more emotional awareness you gain, the greater chance you can cope with them in a constructive way.

One important note is that there is no bad emotion, emotion is merely a reflection of your inner world.

P: Pause: Give a moment or two to process your thoughts and emotions before acting out. Let your rational mind/prefrontal cortex process the information, don’t let your amygdala to hijack your mind. We are human beings not animals without rational minds and willpower.

I: Investigate your roots of your emotions: Why do I feel how I feel? Why am I so triggered? What do I value? What are the triggering points? Are there related to my past trauma? What’s it holding me back moving forward? Self-exploration and courage is needed. If the emotion keeps repeating and seems to be out of control. It has disrupted your relationships and life, please seek help from trained helping professionals.

D: Distance: Distance means you give yourself some spaces to breathe deeply, feel the energy of the emotions and reflect on them.

If you want to be the master of your mind and emotions, you have to practise self-reflections on a daily basis. Face and start the healing process of your past traumas.

In this stage, you will be fully aware of your emotional triggers, what infuriates/excites/worries/makes you insecure.

With that foundations, you can build up your confidence to control your emotions. You will be able to respond to situations with rational minds, instead of reacting with impulsions.

Emotional intelligence including the components of self-awareness, and awareness of others. Learn how to manage and master emotions, it always start from yourself.