Breakup/ Divorce

When there is a relationship, there is always a breakup. Breakup is inevitable. Every relationship will eventually come to the end. There is no eternal relationship, unless u believe in God.

Thus if u want to begin a new relationship, u have to be prepared for the breakup. This is the wise thing to do. If u don’t prepare yourself, breakup could be devastating, destructive and dangerous.

I have been working with people who were dealing with their nasty breakups/divorces. Almost 99% of the cases, developed depression, anxiety disorder, become suicidal…

I asked myself how to prevent/protect them from such disasters. Over the years, i found my answer, which is always prepare yourself for breakups, learn how to cope with the uncertainties and the attachment issue with the other person.

If u can achieve this, you will be able to let go of every relationships u have, and handle well with all the breakups.

In theory, this seems easy and achievable. But in practices we all know it is improbable and almost impossible, unless u are a robot or AI?

Every now and then, I review literature regarding to “grieving process” to see if there are some new ways/shortcuts to cope with it.

The answer is No, there is no shortcuts, no certain ways that guarantee your healing ❤️‍🩹. The trauma can stay with u forever, until the day u passed away.

Therefore, grief work is extremely difficult, prevention is easier, I think.

Then how to prepare yourself? I think it is a general acceptance that life is full of challenges and uncertainties. Try not to freak out if life give u curve balls. Accept the way it is, go with the flow. Don’t ask for anything, don’t have any expectations, and most importantly be independent.

Being independent means being finically, physically, emotionally, mentally independent. For example: You can live alone without your family, friends supporting you. You can go to movies/travel far by yourself. You can handle all your expanses, finances, be responsible of all your emotions, ups and downs. You do not throw your emotions baggage to others.

You are flexible, u can be alone or with other people. You give other people spaces, freedom of choices, and time. You respect yourself and others’ boundaries.

Yeah there is it. If u can do that, no breakups can’t break u and you become the charming person in your circles. You can do whatever u want, the world is your oyster. 😉