Sexual harassment/Abuse/ Rape

Today, I want to touch on a topic which no one wants to talk about. But it’s near and dear to me. Someone close to me has endured this trauma over 20+ years. And now she is still struggling, having all kinds of problems, including mental, emotional, physical and spiritual.

You might think it’s already 2023, everything is moving quickly, technology is developing rapidly, people’s mind-set should be more open nowadays. However, most of the people still couldn’t comprehend /accept the situations, that our society is really sick.

It’s still a taboo, esp. in Chinese culture.

Sexual harassment, abuse, rape are totally different things. If u’ve got sexually harassed, luckily, u might gain some sympathy most of the time. But if u’ve got sexually abused in an intimate relationship, it’s a total different story. It’s almost impossible to find someone who is trustworthy enough to share this “secret”. You might need to keep the secret in order to save the face of your spouse/partner.

It’s really bad, but that’s not the worst. You have to bear with the abuse for a much longer time. I personally know many of them are still stay in abusive relationships for different reasons, but most of them with the right minds are about finances, parenting issues, family and in-laws pressures, peer pressures.

Hey, it’s 2023 not the 1800s, how come is still like this?? I was unable to comprehend it and accept this reality…

By the way, I haven’t mentioned about the taboos of RAPE. It’s almost mission-impossible to help someone who has been raped to recover and resume back to their normal lives. That is a trauma bigger than anything, I can’t think of any other kind trauma that is more traumatic, impactful than this one. If u got raped, your future is like done…done… Having this kind of trauma is like having a ghost haunting u for the rest of your life.

For the cases I tried to help and provided counselling service, I could tell most of them are still broken from inside out. I could help ventilate some of the negative emotions and teach them some technical skills to cope with the PTSD. But it’s still a long shot and a journey that a person had to gone through. It might work on some cases, but it might not work. And it will always come back to haunt you.

One time, I got so upset and angry with a raper, that I tried to throw stuffs on him. The followings are some of the questions I want to ask the rapers:

1. Why can u be soooo self-centred/ self-absorbed that u can commit such crime?

2. Do u comprehend how much hurts and pain u put upon to another person?

3. Do u know how your “impulsive actions” leads to someone’s life-long pain and suffering?

4. If u have traumatic/ abusive childhood/ mental problems/ sexual problems, etc., u can always seek help. There are helping professionals available, such as psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors, priests, etc. You don’t need to face the problems on your own.

Actually, the questions can go on and on, but I don’t want to bore u. They are pretty much the same.

Thanks for your kind attention and reading this until the end. Pls help share and like this post for more awareness related to this topic.

If u happened to know someone who is suffering from such trauma, pls seek help from local NGOs, eg. Caritas crisis line 18288 (向晴軒）、Rainlily (風雨蘭）etc.

ENTP (aka Visionary)

Cognitive function:

Ne-Hero

Ti-Parent

Fe-Child

Si-Inferior

• Interaction styles: Initiating, informative, movement (Starter type)

• Temperament styles: Abstract, Pragmatic, Systematic (NT type, aka Intellectuals)

• Mottos: “Life is full of paradox. Everything is connected in some ways and everything is negotiable or debatable.”

• Characteristics

1. Illogical optimist, half suicidal pessimist, rational realist, loyal idealist and hopeless opportunist. They are made of everything; sugar and everything nice! It’s both fun and painful to get to know.

2. Introverted extrovert, polymath, pathfinders, analytical, rational dreamer, optimist who prepares for the worst, brutally honest, high IQ, ADHDers, unhealthy yet understanding therapist.

ESTP (aka Persuader)

Cognitive function: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni

Se-Hero-Awareness of the environment, short-term memory

Ti- Parent-Logical thinking

Fe-Child-Empathy

Ni-Inferior- Willpower

• Interaction styles: Direct/Initiating/Control

• Temperament: Artisan

• Concrete/ Pragmatic/ Interest

• Meaning: Living in the moment, test the traditions & rules and mechanical aptitude

• ESTP characteristics:

2. Super focused on criticism, they would criticise others’ thinking, logic, rationale. Using negative criticism to tear down ppl and build them up. Persuade ppl to do things better, test the rules. (Ti-parent)

3. Values Loyalty, “will u be willing to follow me over a cliff?” (Si-critical)

4. Extremely caring, invest in others, they are willing to teach others to reach their highest self. (Fe-child)

Weaknesses:

1. Insecurities (Ni-inferior):

They are insecure abt their own future, often stuck in analysis paralysis. They spend time all day long trying to gather information abt what other ppl are doing so that they know what to do. They are stuck getting information and end up not making a decision. “Failure launch syndrome”. They are insecure of their own future, of what they want.

2. Dogma attachment (Ti-parent, Te-critics)

They are hardcore religious ppl who adhere to the dogma very seriously, and it actually inhibits their own human growth. Instead of having freedom, freedom of choice, freedom of life, dogma is ESTP one of the weaknesses, that they get stucked into.

3. Unaware of metaphysics and others’ intention (Ne-demon):

No awareness of metaphysics, they don’t care what other ppl’s intention are and their wants. Because they are trying so hard to figure out what they want. They don’t have any mental space to figure out what other ppl want. It’s not even real to them, they just don’t care. They only concerns what’s real to them.

Reference: https://csjoseph.life/2018/05/21/who-are-the-estps/